It's amazing how you can dress up a bird - I believe it's called rude food.
Kindly submitted by Finkle
Contributed by Finkle
When a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker,
and his throat gets dry.
He goes weak at the knees, and he begins to think irrationally.
Ever wonder why?
It's because she smells like a new car .
Bosses at one of Englandâ€™s top zoos had to evacuate an area after they gave gorillas brussels sprouts for breakfast.
The traditional Christmas veg made the animals cause such a stink the monkey enclosure at Chessington Zoo had to be cleared of visitors.
Keeper Michael Riozzi said: â€œWeâ€™ve started feeding the gorillas brussels because they are packed with vitamin C. Unfortunately, an embarrassing side effect is that it can cause bouts of flatulence in humans and animals alike.â€
The stunned zookeeper added: â€I donâ€™t think any of us were prepared for a smell that strong.â€
Thanks to Finkle for sending the story
If you thought you were too old for Facebook, there is now a social networking website for the more mature reader.
Called Pensionbook, it was brought to the Gazette's attention by our old friend Finkle. (Who knows how he stumbled upon it - I thought he was a thirty something!)
GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING YESTERDAY
MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE OFFICER LOOKED AT
MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT
Thanks to Finkle, one of our regular readers, for this important
Clubbers in the North of England (Yorkshire area) have recently taken to
Finkle sent this in to the Gazette; we think Finkle could possibly be a man.....
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who,
surprisingly, did not whine, nag, or bitch........
this was a long time ago.....
and it was just ONE day.
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
Thankfully not Webster Way
Kindly submitted by our good friend Finkle
This fun clip has been sent to us by our good friend Finkle
Click here to download the clip