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Rude food or how to serve chicken wings to a man - (Photo)

Contributed by editor on Jan 19, 2009 - 05:00 AM

It's amazing how you can dress up a bird - I believe it's called rude food.

Kindly submitted by Finkle

 


Ahhhhhhh leather!

Contributed by editor on Jan 07, 2009 - 08:00 AM

Contributed by Finkle

When a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker,
and his throat gets dry.




He goes weak at the knees, and he begins to think irrationally.

Ever wonder why?







 

It's because she smells like a new car .




Gorilla brussels sprout's farts cause zoo evacuation - (photo)

Contributed by editor on Dec 19, 2008 - 07:00 AM

Bosses at one of England’s top zoos had to evacuate an area after they gave gorillas brussels sprouts for breakfast.

The traditional Christmas veg made the animals cause such a stink the monkey enclosure at Chessington Zoo had to be cleared of visitors.

Keeper Michael Riozzi said: “We’ve started feeding the gorillas brussels because they are packed with vitamin C. Unfortunately, an embarrassing side effect is that it can cause bouts of flatulence in humans and animals alike.”

The stunned zookeeper added: ”I don’t think any of us were prepared for a smell that strong.”

Thanks to Finkle for sending the story

 


Forget Facebook and check out Pensionbook

Contributed by editor on Jun 07, 2008 - 07:53 PM

If you thought you were too old for Facebook, there is now a social networking website for the more mature reader.

Called Pensionbook, it was brought to the Gazette's attention by our old friend Finkle. (Who knows how he stumbled upon it - I thought he was a thirty something!)

So if you are ready for a laugh and don't fancy signing up to Facebook .......we have the very place for you...... Click here




Stopped for speeding - be sure the dog doesn't give you away

Contributed by editor on Apr 23, 2008 - 09:55 PM

GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING YESTERDAY



I THOUGHT I COULD TALK
 

MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE OFFICER LOOKED AT
 

MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT

 

 

 

Finkle


 


Police 'E' warning

Contributed by editor on Feb 13, 2008 - 12:00 AM

Thanks to Finkle, one of our regular readers, for this important
warning issued by West Yorkshire Police.


<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">

Clubbers in the North of England (Yorkshire area) have recently taken to
injecting ecstasy directly into their mouths using dental syringes.



This practise is extremely dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.



If you are approached by a Northerner offering you 'E by gum',
immediately report them to the police.





<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">




Fairy tale

Contributed by editor on Oct 30, 2007 - 12:16 AM

Finkle sent this in to the Gazette; we think Finkle could possibly be a man.....

Fairy Tale:  

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who,

surprisingly, did not whine, nag, or bitch........



 

But this was a long time ago.....

and it was just ONE day.

The End

 


Public school teacher arrested

Contributed by editor on Sep 09, 2007 - 10:27 AM

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.

Finkle


Great Job with the Bollards, Lads!

Contributed by editor on Jul 08, 2007 - 12:00 AM

Thankfully not Webster Way

Kindly submitted by our good friend Finkle


One of the best

Contributed by editor on Jun 20, 2007 - 08:46 PM

Finkle's Fun

This fun clip has been sent to us by our good friend Finkle

Click here to download the clip

 

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